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The Cardinals could have had Johnny Unitas in his prime and still lost a lot of games. And the sideline with a clipboard was just about the safest place for me.I didn't doubt I'd see action in a lot games this year. Our offensive line was so porous I figured we'd go through six or seven quarterbacks and probably more trainers. I had a decent preseason showing when I wasn't on my back looking up at the sky. Sean Lombard was a talent but he was also a rookie and he couldn't block more than one guy.I didn't feel bad — all the quarterbacks on the team spent more time on their backs than a Reno hooker. The best thing about our offensive line is they were just as bad run blocking as they were pass blocking. That meant the running backs spent a lot of time on their backs, too.Our defense was very good. I figured if we could find a way to score two or three times a game, we'd be able to win a few.We lost three of our first four games — only a defensive touchdown against lowly Tampa Bay saved. " Crystal held the poster up for me to see."Doesn't that mean that I'll always..." Use the same girls?" Crystal finished for me. "I haven't worked that out yet." Maybe a three dimensional Tree," Brian, the gay college guy, said. He walked behind my table and leaned against the windows. "He could hit the list by preference." I'm first for head!" Sophie yelled.Crystal looked from Brian to the poster."You weren't this eager yesterday at the Tower," I said to Crystal. She had been quite eager (insistently eager) when we got back to the apartment building!She stared at me for a few seconds. "Truck. Whoosh. Eeeeiiiyumm. KAPLOW! Dead Gang Members. Dead Zombies. I am going to live! Wet Pussy."I stared at anyone who was laughing until they stopped."Doctors Larson," Crystal said to the married couple. "Is wet pussy an evolutionary survival thing? Because when that truck flew by, Miguel got a lot hotter! I immediately had the thought, 'he is so cute and I bet that lump in his pants would fit.
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